only in dreams

5:00am

i’ve been dating or in a romantic or sexual relationship in my dreams at Least once per week (if not every night) since, let’s just say, 2020.

i wish i started keeping a diary of these dates/ relationships. :,) i could anonymize the few that are personal, and aren’t just random people of the world.

a few weeks ago i pulled the “romance” card from my oracle deck at least twice. and every time it surfaced, i felt a glimmer of hope—along with the feeling of disappointment. i thought. “romancing myself again, eh?” i got used to not seeing evidence of romance in not-myself, in not-another-human. romance is always available in the animate world, sure. but…