pandemic platonic intimacy nostalgia

there are very few friends i’ve done this with—and even fewer whom i can do this with now, but i so much miss close-body relating. such as the big daily bear hugs. the cuddles in winter time in front of a fire. laying out side by side on beach sand or park grass. playing with or braiding each others’ hair. holding hands. linking arms. closing our eyes and gently, presently, feeling into the softness of our bodies against one another. leaning into one another’s shoulders. feeling the weight of our heads or hands or torsos while walking together. laughing and kicking at each others’ feet or nudging knees into thighs during sleepovers. i miss the warmth. i miss the physical intimacy. it’s the most special time with a beloved friend.